paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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