can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
