Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
