Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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