It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize