hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
