i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
