i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
