he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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