DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
A+ Viking dick
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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