She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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