I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
