so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
