so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize