So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
