i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
