So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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