you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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