plz talk dirty to me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Randomize
