We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
