Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
