I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
