very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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