I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The adults are the big ones right?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize