marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
