you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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