i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I FOUND THE LEGS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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