Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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