i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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