just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
