i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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