at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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