please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
