Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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