My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
