mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
