just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
