the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
