How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
