Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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