I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
