Kiss
Puke
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize