If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
