i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
