I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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