why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
