Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
