you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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