THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
