i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
