He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
