Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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