dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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