Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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