Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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