You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize