dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
this will be a night to untag.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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