hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
