Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
