when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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