Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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