I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
