Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
